Thursday, December 14, 2006
okeh best!
i had a really fun day. but it ended like shit can?
wahh baek uhh.
this is the time where i really really need your support. and there you go, ignoring me. what the? wake up la hey! i need you &you&YOU! NOW!
i feel like shit right now. serioulsy. you were there when i was feeling good, happy & positive. but now? the time where i really need you, you just ignore me? how can?
here i am, felling like crying. you shld b here with me. lending me a shoulder to cry on, a good listening ear and all of the support i need. but no. your not here.
mayb this is what my life is all about? maybe?
surrounded with many many people when my spirits are high up. but when iym feeling low, they seem to just dissappear.
okehh suuuperrr gudd. i really feel like crying infront of the computer.
tried ur best? yahh. can. you dont seem to care right now.
you didnt even ask me whats wrong. you shld noe tt iym in a bad mood ryte? then why make it worse?
i felt really bad and knowing you are online, i went online and maybe you could make me feel better. cos you always do. i wanted to smile befor i go to sleep later. i wanted you to make me laugh or at least make a really stoopid joke n make me feel at least a little bit better.
you only want to know what you want to hear. what's wrong of me trying to pin point your fault and telling you your wrongs. you will always say, 'kiter ape? kite yg sala'.
if i see it as your fault then i would say it. no point of me saying its your fault when you are not at fault right? if iym wrong then i would say it.
i know tt you care, you just dont SEEM to care at this point of time. its okehh la. at least you do care.
hmm. never have i blogged abt my problems like this. i never felt soo stressed up! seriou akh.
i read people's blogs. bragging abt how they really love thir parents. how they are being cared abt. and how their parents SHOW that they love theri children.
i really envy these people. eventho they are not pampered and all, at least they know tt they have parents who love them as much as they do.
while me? iym soo freaking confused. i dont even know if my parents care abt me. i dont even know how much they love me. SERIOULSY!
i see profiles and its stated there, 'daughter/son of loving parents' blablabla. i on the other hand dont include that. not even a single thing abt my family. dont belif? go and see uhh.
people always say, family comes ferst. yahh right. well i dont think so. i love my friends more. i really do. try taking them away from me. i will have no other reason to live.
why has it always have to be me? adek adek adek. tak abes2.
adek niek la. adek itu la. ADEK JER!
iym the 'BAD' one ryte? all the problems always got something to do with me.
my attitude is becomming worse lahh.
i mix ard with the wrong friends lahh.
iym the one who always make my parents angry lahh.
wahh best! all fingers pointing at me.
why cant they just simply accept me for who i am. iym born to be this way. wat can i do sehh?
my parents always say, 'aku dah cukop kenal dengan engko lah aqilah'
WATEVER! you dont even have a single clue of who i am okeh!?
i cant even relate to either of my sisters.
my family just dont understand me. the cant and wont understand me.
they dont even freaking care abt me. RIGHT!?
DONT FORCE ME TO DO ANYTHING THAT I DONT WANT TO!
i just wish that i could fade away. just dissappear.
then everyone would be happy right?
no more me to trouble your life. right?
argh! i cant take it anymore! SERIOUSLY!
if its not for my friends, i thin i would kill myself already.
so guys,
THANK YOU for stopping me frm doing stoopid stuffs.
THANK YOU for all your care and consern.
THANK YOU for listening to all my shis&stuffs.
THANK YOU for being my friend.
I LOVE YOU GUYS! ((:
;Nisa ;Mira
;Shasha ;Lydia
;Mirza ;Azah
;Indra ;Diah
;Zul ;Sylvia
;Nabila ;Ruzaini
;Aida ;Sumirah
;Faris ;Hafikah
and the list goes on lahh. too many.
sorie for the really long post.
i needed to let it go.
huha! iym crying. emotional. =P
ohh ya. iym still not okeh. but getting there.
make me smile lahh people! ((:
much much loves!
toodles!
deBLURRgerl((:
12:56 AM
